New Me, Who Dis?

Does anyone know what essential oil you’re supposed to use when your life is falling apart? Is it lavender? I bet it’s lavender oil!

Friends, while some of you already know, others might just be finding out now, Taylor and I are no longer together. We separated in August and will be getting divorced. I’m sure you can imagine why it feels so awkward to “announce” something like this. But if I have learned one thing from living in a tiny town, and my affinity for celebrity gossip magazines, telling people difficult news first hand is a luxury not everyone gets! So this is my opportunity to fill you in. Is it unconventional? Yes. But it is also healing and something I feel is important for me.

Let’s face it, I’m nosey A.F. I’m the person who thoroughly enjoys watching “reality” TV, attending open houses, and reading the specific “cause of death” in a stranger’s obituary. If I had your address, I’d probably read your mail! (I’ve got some issues, I’m aware!) What can I say, I just love knowing how people truly live their lives behind closed doors!

That same nosey nature always makes me question when someone’s relationship status is unclear. This isn’t all that uncommon, as most couples split without public announcement (Because that would be weird right? Yet here I am…) But, by putting this out there I want to take the speculation off the table and try to slightly lessen the stigma of separation and divorce, as it can be quite isolating. Seriously. Some people are downright jerks about it!

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I believe in sharing our experiences and value openness and vulnerability. It helps that I’m naturally an over-sharer! I believe that a problem shared is a problem halved, and it isn’t healthy to keep it all inside! Perhaps sharing my story will help someone feel less alone. In turn, they share and somebody else struggling feels more accepted, and so on! It’s also selfishly cathartic to not walk around with some “shame-filled secret failure of my life”! Not to be dramatic or anything!

Breaking up sucks, plain and simple, but there is something extra shitty when your very first break up is a divorce! I was in high school when Taylor and I started dating, and I was only 18 when we got married. We went through a lot together and ultimately decided after twelve and a half years, not to continue on as a couple after exhausting all other options. As parents to Bear, our #1 priority is him! Since our separation, we have continued family activities, including Thanksgiving with my family, and recently a Manitoba Moose hockey game, as co-parents. It takes maturity, sacrifice, and a constant choice to put aside adult issues for the sake of your child, but I am committed to making this whole situation as easy on Arthur as possible. I believe his dad feels the same, and for that I am grateful!

As for my day-to-day, we are settling into our new normal! Arthur started French Immersion in September, and I’ve just accepted a full time position as an Eyewear Consultant! (Talk about the PERFECT job for me!) I don’t really know what the future holds, but like my mama has said along this journey “Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot!” We are getting through, just fine!

I intend to write more in the coming weeks and months, now from the perspective of a single, thirty-something, mum! My life might not be all that exciting, but I am looking forward to sharing my thoughts and experiences with you again! This blog is my diary! Where I keep track of my ideas and my growth! Life doesn’t always go as planned. Hard shit happens, but I know that I am being stretched, and growing and will become only better for it all! I CAN do hard things!

As always, I love to read your comments! Please feel free to share here or on social media! Thank you for your love and support and for reading my sometimes, rambling thoughts, it means the world to me!

I really do love ya,