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co-parenting

Reflections of the Past Year

January 2, 2020 2 Comments

Working in an optometric clinic has given going into the year 2020 a whole new meaning! The jokes and marketing opportunities are endless and while I’m cautious, I have yet to tire of them! The reality for me is that walking out of this past year and into a new decade has given me an opportunity for a clearer vision for my future. As corny as that sounds, I feel like this is exactly what I need! It was filled with some wild ups and downs, but at the end of 2019, I am filled with so much peace and excitement for what is to come! But for those of you that know me well, know I would NEVER pass on an opportunity to look back and reflect on the path I’ve walked this last year, first! Here is a brief review of 2019.

Christmas 2019

The first half of 2019 is a true mix of highlights and heartaches, but I wanted to start off this post sharing about Arthur’s 6th birthday, once again, his party was incredible, but I could never pull it off without a lot of help!

Bear also graduated from Kindergarten! School was never his favourite activity, but he did enjoy being in the same class as his bestie! I just LOVE how much he loves her!

Bear turned 6 years old!
Arthur’s Kindergarten Graduation, and his best friend B.K!

2019 was a rough year in many ways, namely the end of my marriage, and surprisingly, as a result, the end of some friendships. But far more significant in my mind are the people in my life that showed up in BIG ways to support Arthur and I! Without them, I may be writing a different story, but instead, I am able to say that my “word of the year” for 2019, Thrive, became a reality! Living in my parent’s basement certainly wasn’t what I envisioned when I wrote that word down just over a year ago, but I didn’t realize then, that thriving was so much more than where I live, my marital status or how much money I have to my name. Thriving to me, now, means making the best of non-ideal circumstances and finding joy and contentment in the midst of challenging growth! Walking through a storm and being better for it as you walk out the other side!

In the heartbreak and sadness that I experienced in 2019, I grew stronger, braver and more determined than ever! Although not the path I would have chosen myself, I have used my circumstances to work towards becoming a better version of the woman I already am. I felt the weight of people’s judgement and pity a lot this year, but none of it had anything to do with me, and everything to do with them! As I make goals for our future, they include many instances of pushing me out of my comfort zone and doing things that scare me. I can do hard things, I’ve already proven that to myself!

Our first time in a Helicopter, summer 2019

I’m so grateful that I have really amazing people in my village! This summer I was set on taking up hiking as a new hobby! My brother was kind enough to tag along with us as we completed Arthur’s first ever hike in the Whiteshell! I’m also so grateful for my friends who showed up in the moments I didn’t even ask, simply because they knew better than I did, how much I needed them! What a gift that was!

Arthur and I did an 8km hike this summer at Pine Point Rapids! More hiking and camping is a priority for us this year!
Camping at Rushing River, near Kenora, ON

One of the highlights of my year was kicking it off with the news of baby Micah’s pending arrival! My dear friend Andrea and her husband Eric had been through some struggles trying to get pregnant, so this was extra special news! I was honoured to be the first to know his sex and reveal it to their friends and family, AND to co-host his baby shower! There is just this extra delight in watching people you care about join the parenthood club and be so naturally great at it! Also, who doesn’t love an adorable baby to snuggle!?

Arthur and I soaking up baby cuddles at little Micah’s shower!

Another big event that took place this year, was Arthur starting full-time school! This kid took it all in stride! He had our separation, a move, a brand new school and as if that wasn’t enough, it was all in French! While there were rocky moments in the beginning, as soon as he realized that he was capable of learning a new language, he took off and hasn’t looked back! I’m so proud of this kid! Whenever I feel overwhelmed as an adult, I just think about how much he took on this year, and how well he adjusted, all things considered! He is such a rockstar!

Arthur started Grade 1!

Arthur is also now in his second year of hockey! He is a great little skater, and really seems to enjoy himself! It just warms my heart, at his first tournament, when he made it clear, he was only interested in helping his team get goals, not necessarily being the person to score them himself! I can’t even describe how much I love getting to watch him play!

We wrapped up 2019 with our annual extended family trip to Elkhorn! It is an amazing chance to spend quality time together, and this year was all about recharging our batteries! It is such a gift to spend this time together and focus on having fun! The perfect way to end our year!

Our annual winter weekend at Elkhorn Resort!

All in all, our year had many more ups than downs! Although there were rough moments, I am proud of the way I carried myself through it all. I have shown myself just how strong I really am. I have every confidence that the 2020’s will be a decade that I continue to grow, but will also come with its own challenges that I am excited to take head on! Come at me, 2020, you don’t scare me!

Love ya,

Filed Under: Lifestyle Tagged With: 2020, blog, co-parenting, divorce, growth, memories, Mommy blog, new year, reflection, review, single mom, word of the year

New Me, Who Dis?

November 19, 2019 14 Comments

Does anyone know what essential oil you’re supposed to use when your life is falling apart? Is it lavender? I bet it’s lavender oil!

Friends, while some of you already know, others might just be finding out now, Taylor and I are no longer together. We separated in August and will be getting divorced. I’m sure you can imagine why it feels so awkward to “announce” something like this. But if I have learned one thing from living in a tiny town, and my affinity for celebrity gossip magazines, telling people difficult news first hand is a luxury not everyone gets! So this is my opportunity to fill you in. Is it unconventional? Yes. But it is also healing and something I feel is important for me.

Let’s face it, I’m nosey A.F. I’m the person who thoroughly enjoys watching “reality” TV, attending open houses, and reading the specific “cause of death” in a stranger’s obituary. If I had your address, I’d probably read your mail! (I’ve got some issues, I’m aware!) What can I say, I just love knowing how people truly live their lives behind closed doors!

That same nosey nature always makes me question when someone’s relationship status is unclear. This isn’t all that uncommon, as most couples split without public announcement (Because that would be weird right? Yet here I am…) But, by putting this out there I want to take the speculation off the table and try to slightly lessen the stigma of separation and divorce, as it can be quite isolating. Seriously. Some people are downright jerks about it!

I believe in sharing our experiences and value openness and vulnerability. It helps that I’m naturally an over-sharer! I believe that a problem shared is a problem halved, and it isn’t healthy to keep it all inside! Perhaps sharing my story will help someone feel less alone. In turn, they share and somebody else struggling feels more accepted, and so on! It’s also selfishly cathartic to not walk around with some “shame-filled secret failure of my life”! Not to be dramatic or anything!

Breaking up sucks, plain and simple, but there is something extra shitty when your very first break up is a divorce! I was in high school when Taylor and I started dating, and I was only 18 when we got married. We went through a lot together and ultimately decided after twelve and a half years, not to continue on as a couple after exhausting all other options. As parents to Bear, our #1 priority is him! Since our separation, we have continued family activities, including Thanksgiving with my family, and recently a Manitoba Moose hockey game, as co-parents. It takes maturity, sacrifice, and a constant choice to put aside adult issues for the sake of your child, but I am committed to making this whole situation as easy on Arthur as possible. I believe his dad feels the same, and for that I am grateful!

As for my day-to-day, we are settling into our new normal! Arthur started French Immersion in September, and I’ve just accepted a full time position as an Eyewear Consultant! (Talk about the PERFECT job for me!) I don’t really know what the future holds, but like my mama has said along this journey “Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot!” We are getting through, just fine!

I intend to write more in the coming weeks and months, now from the perspective of a single, thirty-something, mum! My life might not be all that exciting, but I am looking forward to sharing my thoughts and experiences with you again! This blog is my diary! Where I keep track of my ideas and my growth! Life doesn’t always go as planned. Hard shit happens, but I know that I am being stretched, and growing and will become only better for it all! I CAN do hard things!

As always, I love to read your comments! Please feel free to share here or on social media! Thank you for your love and support and for reading my sometimes, rambling thoughts, it means the world to me!

I really do love ya,

Filed Under: Featured, Lifestyle Tagged With: announcement, Arthurbear, co-parenting, divorce, essential oils, separation, single, single mom, who dis

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