• Home
  • Blog
  • About Me
  • Contact Me
  • Disclaimer + Policy
  • Nav Social Menu

    Let’s connect!

    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter

ArthurBear Blog

Building Community Through Stories and Experiences

  • Lifestyle
  • Parenting
  • Travel
  • Skip to secondary menu
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Mommy blog

Reflections of the Past Year

January 2, 2020 2 Comments

Working in an optometric clinic has given going into the year 2020 a whole new meaning! The jokes and marketing opportunities are endless and while I’m cautious, I have yet to tire of them! The reality for me is that walking out of this past year and into a new decade has given me an opportunity for a clearer vision for my future. As corny as that sounds, I feel like this is exactly what I need! It was filled with some wild ups and downs, but at the end of 2019, I am filled with so much peace and excitement for what is to come! But for those of you that know me well, know I would NEVER pass on an opportunity to look back and reflect on the path I’ve walked this last year, first! Here is a brief review of 2019.

Christmas 2019

The first half of 2019 is a true mix of highlights and heartaches, but I wanted to start off this post sharing about Arthur’s 6th birthday, once again, his party was incredible, but I could never pull it off without a lot of help!

Bear also graduated from Kindergarten! School was never his favourite activity, but he did enjoy being in the same class as his bestie! I just LOVE how much he loves her!

Bear turned 6 years old!
Arthur’s Kindergarten Graduation, and his best friend B.K!

2019 was a rough year in many ways, namely the end of my marriage, and surprisingly, as a result, the end of some friendships. But far more significant in my mind are the people in my life that showed up in BIG ways to support Arthur and I! Without them, I may be writing a different story, but instead, I am able to say that my “word of the year” for 2019, Thrive, became a reality! Living in my parent’s basement certainly wasn’t what I envisioned when I wrote that word down just over a year ago, but I didn’t realize then, that thriving was so much more than where I live, my marital status or how much money I have to my name. Thriving to me, now, means making the best of non-ideal circumstances and finding joy and contentment in the midst of challenging growth! Walking through a storm and being better for it as you walk out the other side!

In the heartbreak and sadness that I experienced in 2019, I grew stronger, braver and more determined than ever! Although not the path I would have chosen myself, I have used my circumstances to work towards becoming a better version of the woman I already am. I felt the weight of people’s judgement and pity a lot this year, but none of it had anything to do with me, and everything to do with them! As I make goals for our future, they include many instances of pushing me out of my comfort zone and doing things that scare me. I can do hard things, I’ve already proven that to myself!

Our first time in a Helicopter, summer 2019

I’m so grateful that I have really amazing people in my village! This summer I was set on taking up hiking as a new hobby! My brother was kind enough to tag along with us as we completed Arthur’s first ever hike in the Whiteshell! I’m also so grateful for my friends who showed up in the moments I didn’t even ask, simply because they knew better than I did, how much I needed them! What a gift that was!

Arthur and I did an 8km hike this summer at Pine Point Rapids! More hiking and camping is a priority for us this year!
Camping at Rushing River, near Kenora, ON

One of the highlights of my year was kicking it off with the news of baby Micah’s pending arrival! My dear friend Andrea and her husband Eric had been through some struggles trying to get pregnant, so this was extra special news! I was honoured to be the first to know his sex and reveal it to their friends and family, AND to co-host his baby shower! There is just this extra delight in watching people you care about join the parenthood club and be so naturally great at it! Also, who doesn’t love an adorable baby to snuggle!?

Arthur and I soaking up baby cuddles at little Micah’s shower!

Another big event that took place this year, was Arthur starting full-time school! This kid took it all in stride! He had our separation, a move, a brand new school and as if that wasn’t enough, it was all in French! While there were rocky moments in the beginning, as soon as he realized that he was capable of learning a new language, he took off and hasn’t looked back! I’m so proud of this kid! Whenever I feel overwhelmed as an adult, I just think about how much he took on this year, and how well he adjusted, all things considered! He is such a rockstar!

Arthur started Grade 1!

Arthur is also now in his second year of hockey! He is a great little skater, and really seems to enjoy himself! It just warms my heart, at his first tournament, when he made it clear, he was only interested in helping his team get goals, not necessarily being the person to score them himself! I can’t even describe how much I love getting to watch him play!

We wrapped up 2019 with our annual extended family trip to Elkhorn! It is an amazing chance to spend quality time together, and this year was all about recharging our batteries! It is such a gift to spend this time together and focus on having fun! The perfect way to end our year!

Our annual winter weekend at Elkhorn Resort!

All in all, our year had many more ups than downs! Although there were rough moments, I am proud of the way I carried myself through it all. I have shown myself just how strong I really am. I have every confidence that the 2020’s will be a decade that I continue to grow, but will also come with its own challenges that I am excited to take head on! Come at me, 2020, you don’t scare me!

Love ya,

Filed Under: Lifestyle Tagged With: 2020, blog, co-parenting, divorce, growth, memories, Mommy blog, new year, reflection, review, single mom, word of the year

Why I Regret Putting my Son in Pre-School

November 15, 2018 Leave a Comment

Screen Shot 2018-09-27 at 10.36.31 AM.png

In the journey of parenthood there are some things I feel like I’ve done right, and by that I mean, right for my family!  You are all intelligent and mature people and parents, so you understand that it goes without saying, what is right and works for my family is not for all. No judgement, dudes!  Many times since becoming pregnant 6 years ago, I’ve had to stick up for my choices and stand firm in doing what I felt was best for myself and my child.  I’m proud of those “accomplishments”, but like every parent out there, I’ve struggled with self-doubt and carried bucket loads of guilt over some decisions that did not work for us and today, I wanted to  share one of those choices.

I regret putting our 3-year-old into Pre-School.

In our small community, the only licensed childcare is the local nursery school.  They have 15 spaces for children either 3 or 4 years old and are open every other morning for 3 hours during the school year.  Here is the thing.  I was a stay at home mum.  I didn’t require childcare.  With two more years until he started Kindergarten, at 3 years old, my very attached, barely out of the toddler stage child did not stand to benefit from this separation.   We would wait another year, and consider Nursery School when he was 4.

Screen Shot 2018-09-27 at 10.54.21 AM

Then, things changed for me over that summer.  An opportunity came up to apply for the Director’s position at the Nursery School.  With a history in early childhood education, I was confident I could make improvements the program needed.  This meant teaching in the classroom I had been avoiding putting my child in.  I bet you see where I’m going with this.

Lo and behold, I was hired.  So off we went to school, together.  Getting to be my child’s first teacher, at home, and now at school, was a blessing and could only go swimmingly…..right?  I was thrilled for the chance to have employment outside the home, while also keeping my one and only precious baby boy close and under my watchfu…..oh, ok I’m starting to think the problem here was me.  That couldn’t be!   You get it.

From day one I anticipated a challenging transition, hopeful in time it would calm down.  I can easily chalk our challenges up to early mornings, Bear’s first introduction to some (loose) structure, over stimulation from a large group of energetic children, and most definitely big emotions about “sharing” his mama!  But the truth of the matter is that, at 3 years old, he was NOT ready for Pre-School.

I spent months in denial.  Oh he’s just struggling because he is tired.  When he is used to the environment, things will get easier.  It’s hard to not have mum’s undivided attention when it’s all he’s used to, he’ll adjust.  I was so stuck in “making it work” mode, I missed what my child was clearly telling me all along.  I’m. Not. Ready.

Screen Shot 2018-09-27 at 11.34.31 AM.png

I didn’t see it clearly until the following September.  My second year teaching, and his second year in Nursery School.  Now, at age 4, I saw a change in his behaviour.  Just looking at his first day of school photos, I’m floored by the physical change he went through over that year.  I knew then, that the difficult time he was having the year before was not just an adjustment period.  He was still struggling with early mornings, loud kids and sharing mum’s attention.  But at 4 years old he was able to

cope with these big feelings that were developmentally impossible for him to handle at 3.

Our situation was unique, but I feel terrible that he struggled so hard and that I didn’t recognize why.  And you may be thinking, “that’s lovely lady, but it is unreasonable to cater to my child because the option of staying home with them doesn’t exist for me.”  Oh I feel you!  I can’t say that I would have even changed our situation even if I did realize at the time, it was important to me that I take this job.   I’m also not meaning to imply there is anything wrong with putting your child in Nursery School, or other childcare at any age.  I certainly understand the need or desire to do so, due to employment, or to meet other needs.

My intended take away from today is:  For those, like me, who felt, for whatever reason, that you HAVE to enrol your young child into school, but your mommy heart wasn’t settled about it.  Don’t push it beyond your comfort level.  If your child is currently enrolled in a program similar to this, and it is not a good fit, or you feel like this “adjustment” is taking too long, (but trust me, there is a healthy, and natural adjustment period for all these things) you are not wrong for making a change.  Follow your instincts! Do what is right for you, despite what others may be telling you!  I regret not doing that.

Many a time I’ve followed my “mommy gut”, (my intuition as well as the protruding belly I’m still making excuses for 5+ years after giving birth).  Never has it steered me wrong.  Every single regret that I’ve had, has been entirely wrapped up in NOT following it.  Nursery School, negative doctors visits and passing on one of the delicious looking tacos from the food truck in downtown L.A. this summer… all regrets of not following that gut… and a pretty valid suspicion of street meat!

Screen Shot 2018-09-27 at 11.31.47 AM.png

I am grateful in a way for that the difficult season, our first year getting our “school legs” (like sea legs, but with a lot more germs, and only slightly less water) because it helped shine a light on the wonderful moments of 4-year-old Nursery School.   The biggest difference, I believe was that HE was finally ready!

Here are my 3 “I’d do that differently” lessons:

1st:  If it was an option, I wouldn’t have let anyone (myself included) shame or pressure me into choosing something I wasn’t originally comfortable with, for him.  What might be right for one child, just wasn’t for mine. I would encourage any parent to stand strong in what you feel is best!  That gut has gotten me through so much, it won’t let you down now!

2nd: I would have put in more of an effort to ease Bear’s stress and anxieties at home, and give him more grace in the classroom.  He really got a bum deal there. To avoid the appearance of favouritism, I swung to the other extreme, I was super hard on my kid.  I had significantly higher expectations for him than the other three-year olds.  The poor guy barely stood a chance.  As the Nursery School teacher, I would make some changes to how I balanced that role, with my mum role. It was tough, and I could have done better.

and finally,

3rd: I would give myself a whole lot more grace!  It was a TOUGH year for us all!  I went into survival mode, dealt with plenty of challenging situations, and came out on the other side a stronger person, but not without suffering a lot through the process.  I’m grateful all the time for the wise words of Ms. Maya Angelou (2 posts in, and I’m already breaking out the “inspo quotes”… but this one is SO worth it… and I can apply it to almost any situation) “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” -M.A.   I would remind myself that this too shall pass, and nobody expects perfection!

Screen Shot 2018-09-27 at 10.59.11 PMIn the end Bear promises me he is a happy, self-assured, well-adjusted weirdo who doesn’t seem to remember much of his first experiences in school. I on the other hand will struggle to forget some of those “shining moments” in both our lives!  All in all, he continues to grow and is now tolerating Kindergarten for the sake of the bus ride! He “graduated” from my Nursery School class ready to take on the world…. or start his own hipster accounting firm.  It’s ok. I’ll support his dreams, no matter what he chooses.

If you have had a parenting struggle related to starting school, I’d love to hear about it!  Leave a comment to share your experiences, and if you have any tricks that made things easier for you, I know our community would love to read it!

 

 

Love ya,

 

 

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: canadian blogger, Canadian mommy blogger, Mommy blog, mommy blogger, preschool blog, school blog, teacher blog

Top 5 Road Trip Tips for Traveling with a Toddler

November 15, 2018 Leave a Comment

For many parents, the definition of “Hell on Wheels” is a road trip with their toddler, or sometimes worse, multiple children.  I have to say that despite the challenges, road trips are still my favourite way to travel, even with kids!  After few trips with the littles spanning East and West across our great country, I have gained some experience and have collected my top 5 tips to take the first exit off the Highway to Hell!

 

1. Sanity Saving Snacks!

Everyone knows that a Hangry child is not a fun travel companion.  Keep in mind when planning for snacks that a Hangry parent is not going to enjoy the trip very much either (pssst.  That’s you!) Choose a couple of snacks you will enjoy as well.  If you don’t plan on sharing, may I recommend stealthily opening all packaging before returning to the vehicle at a pit stop!  The last thing you want here is the conspicuous crinkle of a chip bag heard by tiny, bat-like sonar ears in the back seat! Trust me, been there.

Pinterest is filled with snacking ideas on the road, from tackle boxes filled with varieties of trail mix and crackers.  There are also so many ideas for healthy snacks, but remember to plan accordingly.  If your trip takes you back or forth across the Canada/USA border, you will be prohibited from packing most fresh fruit and veggies. A quick stop at a grocery store in either country, once you’ve cleared customs will be your best bet for this kind of travel.

2. Be a Back Seat Buddy!

Screen Shot 2018-10-01 at 11.54.56 AM.png

If traveling with an only child, as we did our first couple of family road trips, we found it extra helpful to have one adult sitting in the back seat in arms reach.  Bear was under 2 on our first 13 hour road trip. I don’t know if that makes us brave or certifiably insane?!  We traveled from Home to Wainwright Alberta on a Friday, attended a wedding on Saturday and drove all the way home on the Sunday.  Roughly 2500km, in a weekend, later that summer, we drove all the way to the East Coast something like 9800km round trip! Nuts I say!!!

Sitting in the back seat often, helped keep Bear calm and entertained.  We sang, chatted, and I was able to hand him activities and snacks easily, especially because he was rear facing.  On other trips, having an older child sitting near younger children can help in the same way! It takes a team effort to survive a trip like that!

3. Plan Travel Time Strategically

I don’t know about you, but Arthur was a GREAT sleeper in the car.  That was about the only place.  When he was a newborn, my cluster feeding, non napper, would rack out for the full 3 hours it took to regularly drive to my parent’s house at the time.  It wasn’t a surprise then, to discover the best part of road tripping with a toddler was how well he slept in the car!

Screen Shot 2018-10-01 at 11.38.52 AM.png

We used this to our advantage, and in an aim to exploit this super power, we embarked on our first trip at 4 in the morning!  We eeked out FIVE hours of sleepy silence from the kid that morning!  On a journey that took us 14 hours that day, it was a great start!   He went on to have periods of being awake and then a couple of naps through the day.  If making a shorter trip, plan on leaving at or around nap time.  If doing the long haul, like we typically do, a very early morning might be your best bet!

4. Boredom Busters

Being prepared to keep your little(s) occupied in the car is critical to avoid meltdowns caused by boredom!  Many ideas I came across online were geared towards older children.  At just under 2 years old, Arthur wasn’t able to play traditional road games (I spy, licence plate game, road scavenger hunts etc) So we got creative to keep him busy.

First, music was a life saver!  We chose some of his favourite CD’s and just embraced his taste in music.  Anne Murray’s Hippo in the Bathtub, has been a throw back favourite in our family.  My parents love to regale me with tales of my own first long haul trip, at 11 months old, listening to this album on cassette tape!  Arthur was also partial to the song Bi-Plane Evermore by the Irish Rovers. (He’s a bit of a weirdo… we love him for it!) When he started to get cranky, the first few notes seemed to calm him almost immediately.  Let’s just say we listened to it a lot, and in the end I’m so grateful for the song’s ability to ease the stress of our trip, I’ll forgive the fact that it is, many years later, stuck in my head from time to time!

Screen Shot 2018-10-01 at 11.14.58 AM.png

I also planned for some table top activities.  I laminated a plain sheet of paper before we left home, and bought a pack of dry erase markers at the dollar store.  Bear “coloured” to his heart’s content and then could wipe the sheet clean and start again!

Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.  Arthur’s first time on the iPad, was thanks to road tripping!  We strictly limited screen time normally, but for the sanity of all involved, we relaxed our rules and I was shocked at the speed in which he mastered using a tablet at <2!  I downloaded a couple of educational games that did not require wifi, and let him at it.  So far it hasn’t caused him to suffer cognitively or to display any violent tendencies, so no major regrets there.

5. Make the Breaks Count!

My final suggestion today is to make the most out of stops!  You will hear from lots of parents that you need to make frequent stops!  You will discover VERY early on in your first trip, what works best for your kids!  In our experience, Arthur did not need to take many breaks that first long haul trip.  When traveling with children, being flexible is key!  We focused on making the most out of all planned and unplanned stops! This meant splitting up duties to get the most done in the shortest time.

Fuelling up is an opportunity to stretch those legs! While one person takes care of pumping gas, or paying, the other can find a grassy spot near the parking lot and RUN!  Quick games of chase, or guided stretching will help loosen up those stiff joints!  It’s a great mental break for everyone too!

Especially if traveling in the summer months, your ideal pit stop location with kids…… a SCHOOL!  Typically school yards will have both a play structure and a lot of open space to run and play!  They are also a lot easier to find in unfamiliar communities than a park, but any open space will do in a pinch!

Screen Shot 2018-10-01 at 11.42.09 AM

DO NOT EAT IN!!!  After sitting in the vehicle for such a long time, it was unreasonable to have any expectation of sitting at a table to eat a meal!  I would suggest ordering all food to go, and eating on the road if possible, or picnic style at the local school/park! Screen Shot 2018-10-01 at 11.44.44 AM.png I think it is important to keep our expectations in check through situations like these.  Road travel can be as stressful for children as it is adults.  Choosing to have a positive attitude will go a long way in building up everyone’s tolerance to the hard moments.  Being flexible and accepting that you can’t plan for every little moment may help a little too!  It will all be ok!  Bon Voyage!

I hope you enjoyed this post and found some helpful ideas!  If you have any thoughts or other suggestions I’d LOVE if you share them with our community below!

 

Love ya,

Filed Under: Parenting, Travel Tagged With: Canadian Mommy Blog, car seat safety, family vacation, kid road trip tips, Mommy blog, mommy blogger, road trip, road trip with kids, travel blog, travel with family

Welcome to the Village!

November 14, 2018 Leave a Comment

Ahoy friends!  I am so glad you’ve taken some time out of your day to hang with me, here… on the interwebs!  It has been a while since I’ve created content for a blog, but after a little soul searching, I feel that it’s time to get back to doing something I really love!  Posting content online is NOTHING new to me, various times over the years I’ve made videos or written blog posts about my life or things that were important to me.  I’ve come to realize I miss this format for connecting with others, so I’m looking at this as a fresh start, the next chapter!

As for the what and why I’m planning in this space on the world wide web… We are creating community!   Through many experiences in the past 2.5 years, I’ve discovered a deep love for social media and connecting with others, even from a distance.  By sharing my experiences and dreams, I’ve built relationships with so many people, including those, I have only ever “met” online.  Living in such a sparsely populated place, I have to get creative in order to find my “village”.  Life can get messy, parenting is hard and hilarious, throw in: work, traveling, and general adulting, it is always more fun when we feel connected to a community!

I want to share my stories and experiences with you, and in turn, hear your stories and experiences, learning from one another.  I’m certainly no expert in any area, I wouldn’t claim to be!  That said, I have learned so much from trial and error, and even more from my friends and family, that I hope that one day, when you’re making that kick ass bowl of guacamole or feeling confident enough to try a bold lipstick colour for the first time, you can say, “Kalynn told me to do it!” and hopefully, you won’t regret a thing! Or, if there is ever a time you are feeling down by the struggles you’re going through, you can take a look at this site and know “I’m not alone”!  We are in it together folks!

Until then, thank you so much for taking the time to join me on this journey! I hope you stick around, and don’t forget to click those social media icons at the top of the page!

Love ya,

 

Filed Under: Lifestyle Tagged With: Arthurbear Blog, blogger, canadian blog, canadian blogger, Canadian mommy blogger, creating community, Mommy blog, new blogger, parenting blog, village

Primary Sidebar

Recent Posts

  • The Weekend that My Heart Needed
  • Dumb Covid-19, and Other Probably Irrational Thoughts
  • The Struggle is Real
  • Rolling with Rejection

Recent Comments

  • kalynnjoyce on The Struggle is Real
  • kalynnjoyce on The Struggle is Real
  • Joanne on The Struggle is Real

Archives

  • September 2020
  • May 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • November 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • March 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018

Footer

Social Media

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • Instagram

Contact Me

  • arthurbearblog@gmail.com

Copyright © 2021 · Studio Mommy Themes · Custom Scene Images

Copyright © 2021 · Adore Me on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

This error message is only visible to WordPress admins

Error: There is no connected account for the user 3002371188 Feed will not update.